The truth about fishing

I’m beginning to think that all the fishing shows I’ve been watching lately aren’t being completely honest with their viewers. I don’t mean to sound judgmental but what the hell! Now believe you me I’m no expert, and I don’t have a five-hundred-dollar rod and reel either, but I’ve been fishing a few times myself, and people I’m here to tell you, it’s not quite the same as our illustrious TV hosts have lead us to believe. In fact, in my experience at least, It’s nowhere near the truth. To prove my point, I’ll walk you through a typical Chris Ledgerwood fishing trip and let you be the judge. It’s early, the sun is peeking thru the trees, the wind is gently caressing my hair like a long lost lover. I’m apprehensive but confident. I approach the pond like a ninja waiting to strike, cautiously scanning the water’s surface for signs of my quarry, a big ass fish! And I’m not disappointed, the fish are assaulting their prey like torpedoes launched from a secret underwater base. It’s exhilarating, fins are flashing in the sunlight as the water churns in carnivorous delight, a true fisherman’s paradise. This, my friend’s, is the moment I’ve been preparing for. I’ve downloaded twelve different books on the art of fishing and watched countless YouTube videos, I think it’s safe to say that I’m an online fishing expert. I tie the perfect Texas style rig, a term I learned off YouTube by the way, my rubber worm is the perfect weight, color and style. It’s flawless, a true work of art! I wait until I see a fish break the surface, cast my line and prepare for battle.  It’s then I realize something isn’t quite right; the fish that were so energetic before are now stone cold silent. Seriously, have you ever watched an old black and white movie where the villain rides into town and there’s absolutely nothing stirring but a single, lonesome tumbleweed?  Yeah, well, it’s like that! But, and this is what kills me, my wife, a person that hasn’t downloaded any books or watched a single YouTube video is reeling them in left and right. How can this be? And get this, she’s using a fifty cent bobber and a worm, the same kind Opie Taylor used on the Andy Griffith show. Are you serious!? Screw this, I'm going home and play my guitar!!!